Cruel Words
by proud to be foreveralone
Summary: He was smiling painfully at me as if he knew that I'm just trying to make him feel better. "I love you Kagura." I stopped crying and tried my best to show him my brightest smile. "Whatever you say Sougo."


**Cruel Words**

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KaguraXSougo  
SoRa

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Disclaimer: I own nothing. This crappy plot maybe I own it.

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"Kagura-chan make sure to check your things now. We'll be leaving in a minute."

"Kay' Nii-chan!" I called out, as you may see Nii-chan and me are going to have a trip. Not sure where it is but whatever.

I slung my bag to my shoulders and exited my room. Rocketing downstairs and following my brother outside. "Nii-chan where exactly are we going?" I asked while he locked the main door of the house. "Ehh, that's a secret. Just come." Kamui-nii then quickly grabbed my hands and we ran to catch the bus.

We arrived at a hospital. I stared at my brother for some kind of explanation but he just shook his head at me and smiled. "Well Kagura-chan I'll be going. I need to get us a room at the inn before it'll be full." I nodded and grabbed his right wrist, "But why are we here first? Is dad here?" He laughed and replied, "You're gonna visit someone of course. Nope, he's not. Instead white perm is there, thought that you might want to visit him for a few weeks." I let go of his wrist. He took out something out of his pocket. A paper? Not sure.

"You might get bored so I figure you might want some of these." He tossed me some packs of sukonbu with a crumpled piece of paper with it. "That paper will pretty much lead you to his room. See you." In a flash he left. "Thanks," I mumbled though he didn't even heard it.

I checked out the paper and shoved the packs at my pocket while some at my mouth. "Meh. This will be troublesome but may be fun." With that I stepped inside the hospital and skipped my way through the hallway.

Staring back and forth at doors is tiring I gotta admit that. I've been looking for the room in four hours by now. It says here 69 it's clearly written at the front and at the back but where the heck is it?! I just kept walking aimlessly finding that damned room hoping to find it in any second.

Suddenly I found it. Not to mention my sukonbos are becoming lesser and lesser. Maybe I could steal some at Gin-chan's stuff. Gotta put that in my head or mental note if that is what you call it. Not that I care.

The door was already opened so that's why I couldn't see the number but from my memory it says 69. I barged in and hugged the patient there. "Gin-chan you owe me a hundred packs for finding you." A second passed then I heard a light chuckle, "Oh my look at this, seems like I have a fat-ass girlfriend here." The guy that I thought was Gin-chan spoke.

Instantly I let go of him as he just laugh like there's no tomorrow. "Ehh, who the hell are you?" The patient was good-looking nonetheless. He got that cinnamon colored hair partnered with his mesmerizing eyes his skin was a bit tanned but it sorta fits him. GAH! What are you doing Kagura!? Stop thinking about that narcissist!

"Why not say sorry first? You know for almost raping me. I know that I'm hot but please just look at you." He said in a very disgusting tone while pointing at me with such fake sympathy almost making me want to strangle him. Sadly I can't because it'll be a waste of time but perhaps fun... I'll think about it.

"Whoever you are I'm not a fat-ass you're most likely heavier than me. Never in a million years that I would apologize to someone like you and me raping you? Pfft I deserve much better you know." I tried to imitate his tone and fortunately it worked.

He looked at me with so much hurt in his expression that I even thought that it was real, "Ouch China that hurt me right in the kokoro." He was half smirking so I figured it out. "Who's China?"

"You're so slow. Look at you don't you see yourself in that kind of attire you look like a Chinese person." He tilted his head in such a manner that I almost blushed. "Geh you're a sadist then, Sadist." Sadist stared at me in a way like who-cares?-nobody-so-shut-up.

I glared at him and turned to the door. "Wait don't you need help with the doors, China?" Even though we only met I don't understand him using a tone that laced with sarcasm but if you listen to it clearly you would notice the pleading tone of it. Turning back to him, unexpectedly he did teach me the way.

Supposedly it was 96 not 69 figures much. Then the days passed on with us bickering at each other. The people there are being entertained or annoyed with both of us.

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It was my daily visit while I'm here at the hospital to drop by at Sadist room but perhaps today was a bit different cause I gotta leave tomorrow so I decided to bring something since Gin-chan insisted me to bring him some ice cream. Not that I plan on giving him any.

"Sadist are you there?" I peeked at his doorway and saw him looking at the window. Having that longing look on his face, he turned at me quickly changing his expression to an annoyed one and asked, "No, can't you see?"

"Che, shut up. I brought something for god sake." I entered his room and sat at one if the chairs near him. "What is it for me? You gonna miss me or something China?" He got that monotone voice of his so I smacked his head. What a lame excuse to touch his hair.

He started coughing. Really bad.

Sadist glanced at me as he covered his mouth with his hands. I started panicking. I kept thinking it was my fault but before I could do something, somehow he managed to stop the coughing. "You should leave China, don't want you to get in trouble." Then I noticed something at his hands. It got blood his own blood splattered at both of his hands.

As he said I left but I also left the ice creams I bought for him. Exactly when I closed the door his coughing continued only this time it was worse. I walked to the wall nearby his room and collapsed there. Nurses and a doctor swiftly greeted me and quickly got inside Sadist room.

My head rested at the wall in an hour. The time was passing so slow making me more bored and dread at what I did. Good thing that the people inside of Sadist's room finally got outside with a small smile's on their faces. That means he's alive right?

I took my time to stand up and go inside his room once again. He was sleeping, almost thought that he was dead. I pushed the chair nearby to his side and noticed that there's a flower at his vase. Is that a hyacinth? Don't know, don't care. My eyes were getting droopy so I took a peek at Sadist and ignored the flower and just went to a short deep slumber.

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"Hey China," I ignored him.

"China," Still ignored him.

"China~" His singing voice sucks so I still ignored him.

"C'mon sleeping at my bed like that? What, you havin' wet dreams about me?" I want to kick him right in the face but I still want to sleep.

"Ughh," He chuckled, "Did I hit the bull's eye?" I turned my head to face him and said, "No, and can I have 5 more minutes?" He patted my head and took of the two metal cups. "Hmm, maybe if you let me play with your hair." Sadist is being kind toda- I mean tonight. I accidentally slept at his bed and he didn't let me out, definitely suspicious.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Unluckily my eyes are wide open now so sleeping is impossible but I still kept my head down. His hands kept twirling and twirling my hair or whatever he is doing. "I've been wondering," I suddenly speak out.

"Yes?" His hands are still distracted to my vermilion hair. "Why are you here anyway?" His hands stopped. "Got some lung disease."

"Oh," Now he's brushing my hair like a dog. "Is it serious?" I turned up to look at him. He got that warm sad smile that could make anyone into tears right now, too bad his eyes are like doing the same thing.

"Yeah." I almost sob but I just turned my head somewhere else. "Is there something you want to see?" His brushing with my hair became gentler. "Are you pitying me?" I just shook my head. "Well I already saw what I wanted."

I finally lifted my head to face him. "Mind sharing what is it?" He smiled again this time a sincere one. Then he cupped my face with his hands moving it closer to his. "More like 'who', China." Our nose met. From all the weeks I've been bugging him I finally got flustered but I managed to ask. "Who is it then?"

He stared at my eyes for a long moment and whispered, "You," inch by inch we were moving closer to each other, not going to lie but I've been waiting for this in a long period of time. Then we kissed it was short but sweet and gentle.

After we broke apart I felt hot tears pouring down from my eyes. Sadist panicked a little but didn't really show it instead he acted to be brave. "Why are you crying?" He asked while brushing the tears away with his thumb.

"I want to be with you." I climbed up to his bed. "You are with me," He replied as he pulled me in for a hug.

"Only that I got little time left."

Those words struck me like lightning. To make it worse it made me cry more. While trying my best not to sob I said, "Don't worry, I'll be here by your side."

I decided to break apart from the hug to see his expression. He was smiling painfully at me as if he knew that I'm just trying to make him feel better. "I love you Kagura." I stopped crying and tried my best to show him my brightest smile. "Whatever you say Sougo."

He was right all along.

I wish I could go back in time and twist the words that I've spoken of. I feel so cruel making him hope for so long that I would go back to that hospital and visit him. Unfortunately that was the last time I met him. He knew all along that he only got a month left to live after I left. Looking back I should've just comforted him rather than him comforting me.

I hope he knew it all along, that someday that I would have the guts to face him and say all the words I want to say. I didn't even apologize what happened when we first met. Perhaps that's why he looks so much in pain while I got to play so selfish.

I wanted to say sorry for all the mean things I said, say thanks for the kindness he has given me and just even little have time with him to show my feelings.

I put a bouquet of hyacinths at his tombstone and muttered, "Yeah Okita Sougo I got a lot to say to you and please even though this is hopeless just forgive me for the cruel words I said. With that done, see ya."

With that said I left.

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_I feel so happy I finished this in a day.. Haha can't believe myself. This will probably my last Gintama fanfiction. Yeah nice meeting you guys. Thanks for taking care of me! But no worries I'll rewrite Better Together cause I lost the USB that got all the chappy in it and it's so crappy. I dunno but I think this sucks but if it really did then I'll do another one. 8DD_

Thanks for reading this long! By the way reading, reviewing, adding this in your favourites and follows is really appreciated!


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